Friendly moths and critters 🌿

Keep on moving, one step at the time. Keep pressing on. 🌱and while at it... Compare yourself with who you were yesterday, not with who someone else is today (in the words of Jordan Peterson) #onedayatatime📆 #allflowersgrowthroughdirt

Thank you for your every thoughtful comment and the outpouring of kindness on the post the other night. I read every word and I will follow up on every comment. As a general rule, I am a big believer in staying uplifting and encouraging online, and not adding to the noise for no good reason. ...But you know how If you don’t acknowledge a situation, you keep getting stuck in the same details again and again and repeat the same mistakes over and over? You stay stuck in the same web of thoughts? I put my feelings out there in a public post as a way of saying it out loud, of acknowledging how I am feeling - the failure, so I can make room to embrace it all, and move on. if I could’ve, I would’ve turned the comments off. To be honest, I had no idea that reading through what you shared it would be as comforting as it is. Every word mattered and many moved me deeply ...”Felt like reading my own thoughts”, “It’s ok not to be ok”, “I feel this too”, “You are not alone”... makes you feel less broken for not having it all together, and you end up spending less time building on those thoughts. Thank you 🌱

I am struggling. Can I just be honest and acknowledge that I am not ok… 🍂 I am not sharing this to garner pity, attention or even advice. I’ve been yo-yoing between good moments and bad moments and I finally realized I need to speak this reality out, and embrace it for what it is. As a way to break its spell and heaviness that gets paralyzing at times. 🍂 The ups and downs are tiring, and this unintentional, unspoken pretense that all is well all the time, breeds and feeds fears and the feeling that I am broken. …Why I am not ok, when so many seem to have it together and seem to make it work? What is wrong with me? 🍂 I am surrounded by women entrepreneurs that are pivoting, creating, and coming up with new ideas, and do it all with excitement. And it’s a good sign I am surrounded by people like them. I should be inspired. And I am - for a hot minute, or twenty…. But I am struggling. And as I am holding it in, the heaviness of it grows. 🍂 Brain fog has been very real within the last several weeks, and I feel broken when it comes to work. I’m having the hardest time staying focused, staying productive. And then the guilt builds up because I’ve been given opportunities and I have projects to work on, and it feels like I am squandering them away. A sad cycle. 🍂 To break the cycle, today I moved back in the office. Shelter at home order and all. The good news is that I am now more isolated then I’ve ever been these last several weeks at home. I so hope that this will make a difference and make room for ‘the dust’ in my brain to settle. 🍂 …I had a really good long cry this afternoon after getting settled, for reasons known and unknown - everything from the crumbs I left at home on the dining room table to a hangnail and a new zit, and everything in-between . And it was good. Good to realize the heaviness I’ve been carrying around, and was too busy to notice while I was at home. 🍂 When things go south, I usually ask myself: “Have you prayed about it, as much as you are talking about it?” It’s time to take my own advice: ‘Have you prayed about it today, as extensively as the space you gave it in your head?’ 🍂 …On a personal level,... (cont. in comments)